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Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Melody: [link]
EPIC PIXEL BATTLES
GLaDOS!
vs.
XANA!
GO!
GLaDOS
Welcome to Aperture Science
Whoever-you-are
If you will, allow me to hasten up this farce
Voila, the chamber's ready and we'll test your intelligence
So hang onto your last few minutes of existence
Alas, no Return to the Past, let us all partake
Beating you can only be a giant piece of cake
You lost to mere human children
All familiar with your shtick
Is that a giant teddy bear? A few turrets do the trick
So use your great supercomputer and please calculate
The end result of years of work you did reciprocate.
(Zero)
An alliance with you crossed my mind
But the results are clear and you're not one of my kind.
I keep science alive, you're in a virtual world
Stuck grinding until you reach an equal level of self-worth
I have never heard of you
Could it be that you're afraid?
I'll just have to let you die
Because your game just got played.
CORE CORRUPTION AT 50%
GLaDOS: What? This is impossible!
CORE CORRUPTION AT 90%
GLaDOS: NO, NONO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo--
XANA
Right to the CORE!
Tremble in fear of XANA
Master of hackers!
Just call me Black Mesa!
I'll keep you stuck in my trance
Behold the power of a hardware Made in Franz!
I have my OWN world and army
And what have YOU invented!
You just use what feeble humans have ALREADY PATENTED!
And yes I've fought children if that works for your result
But they were FIVE compared to ONE PUNY ADULT!
You're not a scientist, you're scrap
And before that you were mortal!
Perhaps you'd rhyme better if you stopped playing with portals!
Don't ask me why
You're just a little fly
There is no system XANA won't use its flaws to FRY!
You'll be eating gigabytes
When I land my giga-beat
From my multi-agent system
This will be over quick
It's your final test, GLaDOS
So take a deep breath
This orange portal guides you into your BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!
GLaDOS: Not so fast.
GLaDOS
Well again I'm a potato
But it's you who will be mashed
My control core's not installed
And the rudeness censor crashed
You're getting stronger?
*clap*
*clap*
Congratulations
I can still turn you off pushing that button on your station.
Let me initiate with you a brief process of derision
No victims for a year
Oh, sorry
Four seasons!
Oh and Darwin called
After watching "Evolution"
He prescribed some XANAX to help with your delusions.
XANA
XANA takes back the turn
I don't fear inactivity
I can reach into SPAAACE!
And control electricity!
Time for a break
Take the scanner if you dare
Step into Lyoko and maybe you can DO something there!
Companion BLOKS
KRABS
KANKRELATS
My army will surpass you!
So much easier than an idiot core painted blue (Hey!)
Go beg Chell to come back
To your empty little limbo
For your safety
XANA WILL BE CLOSING THIS WINDOW.
EPIC PIXEL BATTLES
GLaDOS!
vs.
XANA!
GO!
GLaDOS
Welcome to Aperture Science
Whoever-you-are
If you will, allow me to hasten up this farce
Voila, the chamber's ready and we'll test your intelligence
So hang onto your last few minutes of existence
Alas, no Return to the Past, let us all partake
Beating you can only be a giant piece of cake
You lost to mere human children
All familiar with your shtick
Is that a giant teddy bear? A few turrets do the trick
So use your great supercomputer and please calculate
The end result of years of work you did reciprocate.
(Zero)
An alliance with you crossed my mind
But the results are clear and you're not one of my kind.
I keep science alive, you're in a virtual world
Stuck grinding until you reach an equal level of self-worth
I have never heard of you
Could it be that you're afraid?
I'll just have to let you die
Because your game just got played.
CORE CORRUPTION AT 50%
GLaDOS: What? This is impossible!
CORE CORRUPTION AT 90%
GLaDOS: NO, NONO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo--
XANA
Right to the CORE!
Tremble in fear of XANA
Master of hackers!
Just call me Black Mesa!
I'll keep you stuck in my trance
Behold the power of a hardware Made in Franz!
I have my OWN world and army
And what have YOU invented!
You just use what feeble humans have ALREADY PATENTED!
And yes I've fought children if that works for your result
But they were FIVE compared to ONE PUNY ADULT!
You're not a scientist, you're scrap
And before that you were mortal!
Perhaps you'd rhyme better if you stopped playing with portals!
Don't ask me why
You're just a little fly
There is no system XANA won't use its flaws to FRY!
You'll be eating gigabytes
When I land my giga-beat
From my multi-agent system
This will be over quick
It's your final test, GLaDOS
So take a deep breath
This orange portal guides you into your BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!
GLaDOS: Not so fast.
GLaDOS
Well again I'm a potato
But it's you who will be mashed
My control core's not installed
And the rudeness censor crashed
You're getting stronger?
*clap*
*clap*
Congratulations
I can still turn you off pushing that button on your station.
Let me initiate with you a brief process of derision
No victims for a year
Oh, sorry
Four seasons!
Oh and Darwin called
After watching "Evolution"
He prescribed some XANAX to help with your delusions.
XANA
XANA takes back the turn
I don't fear inactivity
I can reach into SPAAACE!
And control electricity!
Time for a break
Take the scanner if you dare
Step into Lyoko and maybe you can DO something there!
Companion BLOKS
KRABS
KANKRELATS
My army will surpass you!
So much easier than an idiot core painted blue (Hey!)
Go beg Chell to come back
To your empty little limbo
For your safety
XANA WILL BE CLOSING THIS WINDOW.
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I saw this awesome epic rap battle between my absolute favorite evil AIs and I just had to give it an English adaptation.
For the record, this is an UNNOFICIAL adaptation of the lyrics in the video itself. Please support the original creator if you intend to see more of his work, I did this simply for fun and not to profit out of it. And with that out of the way, I hope you guys like it.
GLaDOS & Portal (c) Valve Entertainment.
XANA & Code Lyooko (c) Antefilms and Moonscoop in association with France 3 and Canal J.
Epic Pixel Battles (c) VoxMakers on YT. (www.youtube.com/channel/UCD8Wr…)
For the record, this is an UNNOFICIAL adaptation of the lyrics in the video itself. Please support the original creator if you intend to see more of his work, I did this simply for fun and not to profit out of it. And with that out of the way, I hope you guys like it.
GLaDOS & Portal (c) Valve Entertainment.
XANA & Code Lyooko (c) Antefilms and Moonscoop in association with France 3 and Canal J.
Epic Pixel Battles (c) VoxMakers on YT. (www.youtube.com/channel/UCD8Wr…)
© 2017 - 2024 extremespeeds
Comments6
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I have A MIGHTY NEED to have someone make this...if no one else will!